Attitudes of the Heart - Love
So far we have seen attitudes of faith, obedience, growth and self-discipline. These attitudes are, for the most part, God-directed. That is, they pertain to our attitude toward God and our relationship with him. We turn a page in this study as we look at the attitude of Love. Love is primarily seen in our interactions with and attitudes toward others. It is the most all-encompassing of the others-oriented attitudes. If a Christian has in his heart an attitude of love, many other spiritual attitudes will naturally flow from it. Let us first consider the primary role that love plays in the life of a Christian.
The Primacy of Love
Love is so central to God’s character that it can be simply stated; God is love (1 John 4:8). It was love that brought Jesus to earth (1 John 4:9; John 3:16), it was love that lead him to heal multitudes (Matt 14:14), it was love that drove him to seek and save the lost (Matt 9:36; Luke 19:10), it was love that lead him to the cross (1 John 4:10; Rom 5:8) and it is by his love that he dwells within us today (1 John 4:16; Rom 5:5). Because love is central to God’s character, it is also foundational to the teachings of Jesus Christ. So much so, that the idea of loving others became known as the “law of Christ.”
James 2:8 If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself," you are doing well.
[su_box title="Question..." style="soft" box_color="#2AA3CE"]Q. What is the “royal law?”[/su_box]
Galatians 6:2 Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
[su_box title="Question..." style="soft" box_color="#2AA3CE"]Q. How can we fulfill the “law of Christ?”[/su_box]Christ’s theme of loving others was so strong and so clear that it became an evident characteristic of true discipleship. Even the unsaved could observe the love among Christian brethren and immediately conclude that they must have been disciples of Christ.
1 John 3:11 For this is the message that you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.
[su_box title="Question..." style="soft" box_color="#2AA3CE"]Q. What message was heard from the beginning of Christ’s ministry?[/su_box]
John 13:34-35 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."
[su_box title="Question..." style="soft" box_color="#2AA3CE"]Q. What commandment did Christ give?Q. What example should we follow in loving one another?Q. What would be the result of our love for one another? [/su_box]It is because love is so central to the character and teachings of Jesus Christ that one cannot claim to be his disciple and not also love like he loved.
1 John 4:8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.
[su_box title="Question..." style="soft" box_color="#2AA3CE"]Q. What is not true about someone who is unloving? Why?[/su_box]
1 John 3:23 And this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us.
[su_box title="Question..." style="soft" box_color="#2AA3CE"]Q. What two things did John describe as “his [Christ’s] commandment?”Q. What does the fact that John has grouped these two things together as one commandment tell us about salvation and Christian love?[/su_box]The power of our testimony for Christ lies in the evidence that He has changed our lives. This change is displayed when we love others like He loved. This is the love that seeks the salvation of the lost and loves the brethren even to the point of sacrifice (1 John 3:17; Php 2:4).Paul taught the primacy of love in the fifth chapter of Galatians when he mentioned love first in the list of spiritual character qualities (Gal 5:22). He emphasized its primacy once again in the thirteenth chapter of 1 Corinthians:
1 Corinthians 13:1-3 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
[su_box title="Question..." style="soft" box_color="#2AA3CE"]Q. The word for love here is the word Agape, meaning God-like love. What things did Paul list as secondary to love?[/su_box]Paul’s ultimate point was that even the best gifts, practiced without love, are useless. In the third chapter of Colossians we read a list of great Christian virtues. At the end of this list, after Paul has listed compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, and forgiveness he again emphasizes the primacy of love (charity).
Colossians 3:14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.
Love is the virtue that binds all the rest of Christian character together. All of the fruit of the Spirit and all of the gifts of the Spirit are to be saturated with love. Without it we become empty shells, poor representatives of Christ and hurtful to his cause.
The Personality of Love
We have already learned the importance of love; that it is central to the character of God and that it should characterize all of his children. Now let’s consider the personality of love. How does love behave? Paul answers this question in one of the most oft-quoted chapters of scripture – 1 Corinthians 13.
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way;it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things,hopes all things,endures all things.Love never ends.
Love is Steadfast (patience)
1 Corinthians 13:4 begins “Love is patient and kind.” The word here literally means to be “long tempered” or to “patiently endure.” Practically, this can be seen as one is provoked over and over again yet refuses to retaliate (1 Pet 3:9). It is this love that enables us to forgive others even when they repeatedly offend us (Matt 18:22).1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
[su_box title="Question..." style="soft" box_color="#2AA3CE"]Q. How does this verse illustrate God’s steadfast love?[/su_box]True love is enduring. It is not swayed by circumstances, nor does it wear thin over time. Love is not diminished when we are annoyed or irritated by others. A fleeting love is no love at all.
Love is Serving (kindness)
Because love is patient it endures suffering. It can take the hurts, offenses or lack of love that others dish out. Over and above this longsuffering there is kindness. Kindness does more than endure hurts. It actively seeks to be gracious and serving toward others. Even more than this, true love serves those who do not deserve to be served.
Luke 6:27-36 "But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. 29 To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. 30 Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. 31 And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. 32 "If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. 35 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. 36 Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.
[su_box title="Question..." style="soft" box_color="#2AA3CE"]Q. According to v27, who should we love?v32-34. Q. What should be distinct about Christian love, compared to the love of “sinners?”v35-36. Q. What will we be if we love our enemies like Christ instructed us in this passage? What does this mean?v35. Q. Who is God kind to? [/su_box]It is God’s kindness fueled by his love that lead Him to send Jesus Christ to be our savior (Titus 3:4-6) and He did this while we were yet sinners (Rom 5:8). God now asks us to show the same loving kindness to others even when they do not deserve it, just as He has done for us.
Love is Sincere (does not envy)
Next in 1 Cor 13:4 we read love does not envy. True love is not jealous. This is not speaking of being “jealous for” someone as God is for his people (Ex 20:4-5; Ex 34:14) but being jealous of someone. A husband or wife may be jealous for their spouse, meaning they want their spouse to be faithful and belong to them and them alone. This can be a healthy “jealousy” but it is not the jealousy that is spoken of here.The jealousy spoken of here is always sinful and one of the most destructive sins we can commit. Proverbs 27:4 tells us Proverbs 27:4 Wrath is cruel, anger is overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy? Consider the following examples.[su_box title="Think and Apply" style="soft" box_color="#E67600"]Consider looking up the following passages and answering the following questions: Who was jealous of whom? Why were they Jealous? What did it lead to? Luke 15:25-30 Gen 37:4, Acts 7:9 Acts 13:45 Gen 4:3-8 Matt 27:17-18[/su_box]Jealousy lead the crowd to deliver Jesus to death, Joseph’s brothers to sell him into slavery, Cain to murder his brother, the Jews to resist Paul and the prodigal’s brother to be stirred to anger. It is easy to see how devastating envy can be!Jealousy can be a matter of wanting something that someone else has or wanting to be something that someone else is (status, acclaim, following, etc). No matter the type of jealousy, it is all rooted in pride. It is believing that we are more deserving of benefits or privileges than others. This is the complete opposite of Paul’s exhortation in Philippians 2:3 Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.As devastating as all envy is, there is one type of envy that is more sinister than the rest. It is the jealousy that not only says “I wish I had what they had” but goes one step further and says “I wish they did not have what they have.” This is the jealousy, rooted in hate that actually wishes ill upon others. There is no possible scenario in which love and this jealousy could dwell in the same heart.
1 Corinthians 12:26 If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.
[su_box title="Question..." style="soft" box_color="#2AA3CE"]Q. How should the members of a church respond when they see another member “honoured?”[/su_box]
Love is Self-Effacing (does not boast, is not arrogant)
Love is not jealous because it is not prideful. It does not boast, nor is it arrogant. Bragging is nothing more than trying to create jealousy in others!
Proverbs 8:13 The fear of the LORD is hatred of evil. Pride and arrogance and the way of evil and perverted speech I hate.
[su_box title="Question..." style="soft" box_color="#2AA3CE"]Q. If you fear the Lord, what will you hate?[/su_box]
Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.
[su_box title="Question..." style="soft" box_color="#2AA3CE"]Q. What does pride lead to?[/su_box]
Ephesians 2:8-9 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast.
[su_box title="Question..." style="soft" box_color="#2AA3CE"]Q. Why can’t anyone boast of their salvation?[/su_box]
1 Corinthians 1:26-29 For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. 27 But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; 28 God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, 29 so that no human being might boast in the presence of God.
[su_box title="Question..." style="soft" box_color="#2AA3CE"]Q. How did God ensure that no flesh could boast in His presence?[/su_box]God despises pride so much (Prov 6:16-19; Prov 21:4) that he has designed the salvation plan in such a way that no one can be saved while also taking credit for their salvation. No flesh will be able to boast or brag in the presence of God. Whenever we brag about our accomplishments we exalt ourselves and challenge God as the only one who deserves glory. (Isa 48:11)[su_box title="Think and Apply" style="soft" box_color="#E67600"]How would a Biblical understanding of the nature of man help us to avoid bragging?[/su_box]
Love is Self-Restraining (not rude)
Remember that Paul is addressing the Corinthians who had much to be corrected in their church. Paul has already corrected them for permitting an adulterous brother to continue in the church without rebuke. He went on in the eleventh chapter to address their disorderly worship services and their misuse of spiritual gifts in the twelfth chapter.1 Corinthians 11:21 For in eating, each one goes ahead with his own meal. One goes hungry, another gets drunk.[su_box title="Question..." style="soft" box_color="#2AA3CE"]Q. What was happening when the Corinthians came together for the Lord’s Supper?[/su_box]What better picture of rudeness than someone cutting in line for the best food! Rudeness comes about when we put our needs or wants ahead of the desires of others. It seeks to ensure that we are satisfied even at the expense of other people. The Corinthians had developed a pattern of rudeness in their church. In the fourteenth chapter we learn that even during their worship services the Corinthians were vying for the spotlight. True love is not rude but kind, gracious and considerateIt seems like rudeness can sometimes come very naturally to us while courtesy requires extra effort. What can we do to ensure that we remember to be courteous to others?
Love is Self-Denying (does not insist on its own way)
Paul goes on to say that love does not insist on its own way. That is, it is not selfish but concerned about the wellbeing of others.
1 Corinthians 10:23-24 "All things are lawful," but not all things are helpful. "All things are lawful," but not all things build up. 24 Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor.
[su_box title="Question..." style="soft" box_color="#2AA3CE"]Q. In this passage Paul indicates that “all things are lawful” for him. What was more important to him than whether or not something was lawful?Q. If we are less concerned about our rights and what we are “allowed” to do, what will the result be? (v24)[/su_box]
Philippians 2:3-4 Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
[su_box title="Question..." style="soft" box_color="#2AA3CE"]Q. If we, through humility, count others as better than ourselves what will we do? (v4)[/su_box]Someone who is overly concerned with their “rights” is likely to overlook the needs of others while he fulfills his own lusts. In the fourteenth chapter of Romans Paul tells us that he would even be willing to forgo eating meat if it meant protecting his weaker brothers from offense. True love is willing to deny itself if it means the betterment of others.
1 Corinthians 6:7-8 To have lawsuits at all with one another is already a defeat for you. Why not rather suffer wrong? Why not rather be defrauded? 8 But you yourselves wrong and defraud--even your own brothers!
[su_box title="Question..." style="soft" box_color="#2AA3CE"]Q. Once again, the Corinthians serve as an example of how not to love. What were they doing to one another?Q. What did Paul say they should rather have done?[/su_box]The Corinthians were so concerned with their rights and what was rightfully “owed” them that they were suing one another in secular courts. A loving attitude would have taken a loss before it did anything to harm his brother or the testimony of Christ.
Matthew 20:28 even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."
[su_box title="Question..." style="soft" box_color="#2AA3CE"]Q. Jesus did not come to earth to be served. Why did he come? How did he do this?[/su_box]God is love and Christ is God in the flesh. He is our perfect example of love. Not only did he display his love by dying on the cross for us, but his entire life is an example of how to deny ourselves and how to serve others.
Love is Serene (it is not irritable)
Have you ever found yourself short-tempered with others or prone to outbursts of emotion? Another characteristic of love is that it is irritable. The book of Proverbs praises those who are slow to anger and has few kind things to say about a man who is angered easily.
Proverbs 16:32 Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.
[su_box title="Question..." style="soft" box_color="#2AA3CE"]Q. Who is better than the mighty? Who is better than one that “takes a city?”[/su_box]Who are the successful ones in this life? Generally those who outpace their competition, defeat their enemies or who rule over others. Proverbs tells us that God has a different measure of success. The one who controls himself is far greater than the one who controls others.
Proverbs 25:28 A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.
A person who is angered quickly is susceptible to all kinds of provocation. He allows himself to be severely affected by even small irritations. His spirit is like a city that has all kinds of enemies coming and going as they please and leaving destruction in their wake.
Proverbs 14:17 A man of quick temper acts foolishly, and a man of evil devices is hated.
[su_box title="Question..." style="soft" box_color="#2AA3CE"]Q. How does someone act who has a quick temper?[/su_box]A man who loses his temper makes a fool of himself. He shows others that he has no control over his emotions. His outburst may last only a few moments, but his reputation for behaving foolishly takes much longer to fade.[su_box title="Think and Apply" style="soft" box_color="#E67600"]Have you witnessed someone severely lose their temper? What did you think of them at that time?[/su_box]
Proverbs 22:24-25 Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, 25 lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.
[su_box title="Question..." style="soft" box_color="#2AA3CE"]Q. What should you not do with a man given to anger? Why not?[/su_box]The above proverbs teach us that a quick tempered man is inferior (16:32), foolish (14:17), and friendless (22:24-25). On the other hand being slow to anger is a virtue to be praised.
James 1:19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;
[su_box title="Question..." style="soft" box_color="#2AA3CE"]Q. What 3 things does James encourage us to do?[/su_box]How many altercations could be avoided if we learned to be quick to listen to what others are saying and slow to offer our opinion? Listening to others involves understanding their position or seeing things from their perspective. Love is quick to consider what others are saying and slow to speak its mind.It may be that we have suffered a legitimate hurt or offense. Are we then justified in responding with anger? Proverbs 19:11 tells us, The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression. The word “defer” here brings with it the idea of “prolonging.” As we have already learned, love is longsuffering, but more than that, the loving person is able to overlook offenses committed by those whom he loves (Luke 23:34; Acts 7:60).
Love is Sparing (is not resentful)
The Greek word logizomai (resentful) can mean “to take an inventory of perceived unfairness”. Many marriages and other relationships fail because one or both parties carry with them a history or an inventory of unforgiven hurts. 1 Corinthians 13:5 indicates that the loving person is not resentful and does not keep a record of wrongs committed against them.This is the type of forgiveness that God offers to us (Rom 4:8; 2 Cor 5:19). It is a love that not only forgives and forgets, but forgives and deliberately chooses not to recollect past hurts (Ps 103:12). What else leads to bitterness and resentment but repeatedly dwelling on past hurts?
Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
[su_box title="Question..." style="soft" box_color="#2AA3CE"]Q. We also find the word logizomai (think) in this verse. If we are not to drum up and dwell on past hurts, what types of things should we think on? (8) [/su_box] What may be some tell-tale signs that someone is keeping an inventory of past hurts?
Love is Sympathetic (does not rejoice in wrongdoing)
Love does not “rejoice in wrongdoing.” That is, love does not celebrate the sins of others. It is not pleased when others fail or fall. Proverbs 24:17 tells us that we should not even rejoice when our enemies fall.
Proverbs 24:17-18 Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and let not your heart be glad when he stumbles, 18 lest the LORD see it and be displeased, and turn away his anger from him. (see Job 31:29)Proverbs 17:5 Whoever mocks the poor insults his Maker; he who is glad at calamity will not go unpunished.
[su_box title="Question..." style="soft" box_color="#2AA3CE"]Q. Who will not go unpunished?[/su_box]The Germans have a word for this, it is schadenfreude. It literally means to obtain enjoyment from the troubles of others. One of the clearest examples of this is the gossip. The gossip is one who delights so much in the failures of others that he can’t wait to spread the news. He repeats the story of the sins of others so that he himself can look better. How can we love someone and rejoice when they fail or fall? We can’t. These two attitudes are irreconcilable.[su_box title="Think and Apply" style="soft" box_color="#E67600"]In your own words, how should we respond when others fail? (see Gal 6:1)[/su_box]
Love is Sound (rejoices in the truth)
There are many who falsely claim that there is a conflict between love and truth. They say things like “doctrine doesn’t matter as long as we love one another.” They are willing to compromise just about anything “in the name of love.” What the Bible teaches us is that true love does not tolerate untruth or unsound doctrine. True love rejoices in truth.
2 Thessalonians 2:10 and with all wicked deception for those who are perishing, because they refused to love the truth and so be saved.
[su_box title="Question..." style="soft" box_color="#2AA3CE"]Q. This verse is speaking of those unsaved people who will be deceived by the anti-Christ. According to this verse how might they have been saved?[/su_box]God is a God of truth (Deu 32:4), Jesus Christ is the truth (John 14:6), the Holy Spirit is the spirit of truth and guides us into all truth (John 14:17; John 16:13), the word of God is truth (John 17:17), and those who worship God must do it in spirit and truth (John 4:24).It is no wonder then that in 2 Thess 2:10, “loving the truth” is used synonymously with being saved. Everyone who has ever been saved has been so because they have loved of the truth. Therefore, the Christian life will evidence a love for the truth, and a continuation in it (John 8:31).[su_box title="Think and Apply" style="soft" box_color="#E67600"]If we love the truth, what will our attitude be toward sin and error?[/su_box]True love does not allow someone to continue in error if it will damn their souls (1 Cor 5:5). It does not overlook false doctrine in the name of “love”, but it will lovingly confront sin and error (Eph 4:15; 2 Tim 2:25). All of our relationships in the church are bound together by a common love for the truth (2 John 1:1; 3 John 1:1).
Love Suffers (bears all things)
There is a burden to bear with love, because love always costs. The moment we decide to love, we make ourselves vulnerable and open to hurt. This is why some people put up walls of protection and choose not to love. The vulnerability which comes with love makes us susceptible to hurt when our love is rejected or not reciprocated. God himself experiences this every moment a sinner refuses to receive Jesus Christ – the ultimate gift of love.
Isaiah 53:4-5 Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. 5 But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed.
[su_box title="Question..." style="soft" box_color="#2AA3CE"]Q. What did Christ “bear” for us?Q. Why was he wounded?Q. Why was he bruised?Q. Why was he chastised?Q. Why did he receive stripes? [/su_box]True love is willing to cover and protect (but not excuse) those who have sinned even if it means suffering on their behalf. As we have already learned, true love does not rejoice in or gossip about the failures of others; rather, it is willing to bear the hurt caused by the sins of those we love.The word used here for bear literally means “to roof over.” Like a roof that covers and protects, bearing the burden of the elements, love protects those who have sinned and repented. Out of concern for their wellbeing love is willing to bear the brunt of sin.
Galatians 6:1-2 Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. 2 Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
[su_box title="Question..." style="soft" box_color="#2AA3CE"]Q. How will we fulfill the law of Christ?Q. Considering verse 1, what do you think these “burdens” are referring to? [/su_box]Every one of us has particular sins that are especially troubling to us (Heb 12:1). True love does not see the sins of others and judge or condemn them. It hurts for them and seeks to find ways to help them to overcome that sin.
Romans 15:1-3 We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. 2 Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. 3 For Christ did not please himself, but as it is written, "The reproaches of those who reproached you fell on me."
[su_box title="Question..." style="soft" box_color="#2AA3CE"]Q. v1. What should the strong do for the weak?Q. v2. Why would we do this?Q. v3. In doing so, what example are we following?[/su_box]Jesus Christ bore our sins on the cross and in doing so He left us with an example of perfect love (1 Pet 2:24; 1 John 4:10). Obviously, we are not bearing sin in the same sense that Christ did. Nevertheless, true love bears the sins of others by showing mercy, by bearing the hurts that result from their sin, and by overlooking their failures. All of this is for the purpose of promoting their spiritual growth (Rom 15:2).[su_box title="Think and Apply" style="soft" box_color="#E67600"]How might this aspect of love be especially necessary for a Pastor or one who is discipling younger Christians to learn?[/su_box]
James 5:19 My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back,
[su_box title="Question..." style="soft" box_color="#2AA3CE"]Q. Bearing sin is not excusing sin. James here is giving a scenario of a man in the church who is showing a lack of salvation by continuing in sin. According to verse 19, what does this man need?Q. According to verse 20, what two things happen when someone is “brought back from their wandering”?[/su_box]The word “cover” here is the very same word used in 1 Cor 13 for “bear.” Love, far from judging the unsaved, leads us to seek the salvation of men and women so that their sins can be covered by the blood of Jesus Christ. Love hates sin but seeks to convert the sinner.
Love is not Suspicious (believes all things)
When the Bible says that love “believes all things” it is not speaking of blind or naïve belief. The idea is to consistently think the best of other people without cynicism or suspicion. It is an unloving spirit that assumes the worst of others or is skeptical of their motives.[su_box title="Think and Apply" style="soft" box_color="#E67600"]What might lead us to be skeptical of others?[/su_box]If we find ourselves skeptical or assuming the worst of someone, because of a past sin or offense, then we may be revealing an unforgiving spirit that resides in our heart. This cynicism is actually a defense mechanism, protecting ourselves from a repeat of some hurt that we have experienced in the past. This cynicism is not in line with what we have already learned about love. Love “bears all things.” That is, it is willing to suffer and to bear with the sins and failures of others. It lovingly endures the pain that the vulnerability of love brings. The same love that bears the sins of others also thinks the best of others even at the risk of being proven wrong. Love does not become cynical because of past hurts or disappointments.An unloving heart is quick to ascribe ill motives to the actions of others. It assumes the worst instead of erring on the side of trust. It may be that this trust at some point is broken, but again, the nature of love is that it is willing to bear with that disappointment and to continue to love.
Luke 7:36-39 One of the Pharisees asked him to eat with him, and he went into the Pharisee's house and took his place at the table. 37 And behold, a woman of the city, who was a sinner, when she learned that he was reclining at table in the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster flask of ointment, 38 and standing behind him at his feet, weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head and kissed his feet and anointed them with the ointment. 39 Now when the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, "If this man were a prophet, he would have known who and what sort of woman this is who is touching him, for she is a sinner."
[su_box title="Question..." style="soft" box_color="#2AA3CE"]Q. How is the woman described here?[/su_box]This woman had a reputation in her city as a “sinner.” She was probably a well-known prostitute.[su_box title="Question..." style="soft" box_color="#2AA3CE"]Q. What did she bring with her into the Pharisee’s house?Q. How does Mark 14:3 describe this ointment?Q. v38. Luke tells us that the woman was wQ. v38. What did the woman do while she was weeping?Q. What this woman has done is a beautiful picture of faith, humility, repentance and worship (v50), but not everyone saw it this way. What did the Pharisee think when he saw this?[/su_box]This Pharisee assumed that had Christ known this woman’s reputation he would have rebuked her. The Pharisee’s first and only thought was that this woman was not coming in a spirit of faith or repentance, but with ill will. It did not enter into his mind that she might actually have come in repentance, with the desire to give her life over to Jesus Christ, the Messiah.After the Pharisee “spoke to himself”, Christ “answered.” He knew the thoughts in the heart of the Pharisee and rebuked him for them. This reminds us that it is Christ and Christ alone who can see the hearts of men and who can discern their motives. The Pharisee saw the woman, remembered her reputation and judged her wrongly. For us who cannot read minds or thoughts, we are to err on the side of trust and believe the motives and intentions of others are pure, until proven otherwise. If we are proven wrong then we are to seek to forgive and restore that brother and then to keep on loving.Love assumes the best, bears with the worst, restores the offender and continues loving.
Love Does Not Surrender (hopes all things)
Not only does love bear with the sins of others and assume the best of others but even when sins persist and trust is broken, it continues to love and hopes for the return or restoration of the erring brother.An unloving heart is quick to give up on others. It is quick to pronounce that someone is “getting what they deserve”, or to write them off forever.
2 Peter 3:9 The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.
[su_box title="Question..." style="soft" box_color="#2AA3CE"]Q. What attitude does God have toward us? Why?[/su_box]As long as God’s love and grace continues toward men, we should not give up on others. We love them and pray for them. We pray that God would grant them repentance, that they would come to (or be restored to) the faith. In short, true love does not “give up” on anyone.
Love Stands (endures all things)
In summary, love “endures all things.” It does not fail, no matter what it encounters. The word here is the same used for Christ as he “endured the cross” (Heb 12:2). Christ’s love enabled him to willingly endure the torture of the cross for those whom he loved.When we choose to love others (in obedience to God’s command, Mark 12:31; 1 Pet 1:22) we make a forever commitment. Love is not a fleeting emotion but a rigid, unmovable and purposeful commitment. It refuses to let go even when it encounters hurts and disappointments.Love is an all-important attitude that should saturate the Christian heart. All of our actions and words should be seasoned with love.When we accept the primacy of love and learn to apply the personality of love, we reflect the character of God and display the fact that we are disciples of Jesus Christ. This is not an easy thing to do in a society that exalts pride and perverts love. But, as we learn more about God’s loving character and grow in the faith, it becomes increasingly easy.If you find yourself lacking in love, dwell on God’s love for you. Meditate on the greatest act of love - Jesus Christ’s sacrificial death on the cross for you. Consider the character of God and then look for opportunities to show His love to others.[su_box title="Review!" style="soft" box_color="#FF4D2C"]1. What are some things that God the Father and Jesus Christ have done for us through love?2. Why do you think other gifts of the Spirit, if not seasoned with love, become useless?3. What is a scenario in which love could show itself "long suffering?”4. How does the "kindness" of love impact the way we should interact with non-Christians?5. What does being envious of others say about our contentment with God's provision for us?6. When do envy and hate overlap?7. In what ways is pride incompatible with love?8. Love does not behave rudely. What are some basic areas of consideration that you would appreciate as expressions of love toward you?9. The loving person is not overly concerned with his "rights.” What are some rights that we should be willing to forego for the benefit of others?10. How might remembering that "love thinketh no evil" help us in our marriages?11. How do we know that a person who gossips is unloving?12. Love is willing to bear the consequences of the sins of others. If you love someone who sins, and others judge or condemn that person, how might you respond?13. Explain "Love is not cynical.”14. How does a loving person treat someone who has drifted away from the faith?15. Is there any particular characteristic of love that you feel you need to work on? How do you think you could go about this? [/su_box]